


Book Commentary: City of Bones

by mlmcg12



Series: Book Blog Transcripts [65]
Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cross-Posted on WordPress, F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28965393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlmcg12/pseuds/mlmcg12
Series: Book Blog Transcripts [65]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123052





	1. Pandemonium

  * Here we go: The first book in another series to go in my “more nostalgia than anything” tag AKA “I recognize this book/series is complete shit, but _memories_ ” tag on Goodreads.
  * OK, it’s been ages since I read _Julius Caesar_ in school, so I have no idea what this quote’s about. I think it might be one of the conspirators being all guilty about the murder after the fact? Or one of them considering backing out? If only the act and scene were listed (or at least some indication of which character was being quoted, just for context) so I could pull out my _No Fear Shakespeare_ edition and use their modern English translation. ~~But because there’s no act and scene noted, it’s just like “Oh, look! Edgy quote! This is where the series title came from!”~~
  * Yeah, now this _Paradise Lost_ quote is definitely there for the edge factor disguised as “Look! This is where the title for Part One of this book comes from because _parallels_ and _angels and demons and shit_.” ~~Although technically I never did actually read as much of _Paradise Lost_ as I want to. We were supposed to read a longer section of it than we got to in English my senior year of high school, but we only read a tiny bit because we had to scramble to fit in more of the full-length novels we had to read because school got snowed out for like 2 1/2 weeks.~~
  * Clary and Simon trying to get into an all-ages club? That’s boring! Where’s the whole trope of teens trying to get into a _club_ club with a fake ID? It’s only one page into the actual first chapter, and this book’s already starting to lose its edginess. Hell, this kid trying to bring the knife in is better at this edgy teen stereotype than Clary and Simon. (This is all coming from someone who’s turning 27 in like a month and has never been to a club with a valid ID, let alone a fake one.)
  * More on this knife kid: Oh. My. God. His bright blue hair and weird green eyes make him sound like the edgy main character from something they’d read on that _Bad Creepypasta_ series on the MichaelLeroi channel on YouTube.
  * Oh, lovely. This kid’s the first demon to show up in the series, isn’t he? Because of course he is. And apparently he feeds off of people’s life forces. Or something.
  * “She was beautiful, for a human…” Oh, come on.
  * Yep. Someone’s about to die in that back storage room. And it’s totally not gonna be Izzy. I mean this girl I’ve never read about before in my life.
  * Clary dragged Simon out to the club because she wanted to go party, but now she’s totally zoning out. Lovely.
  * Simon’s wearing a “Made in Brooklyn” shirt? As far as raunchy jokes go, that one’s not even cheesy. It’s just dumb.
  * Clary! Why the hell are you even interested in demon boy? It’s not even the fact that he’s a demon or that he’s screwed for picking Izzy out of the crowd, but just… why?
  * Simon using “I’m a cross-dresser” and “I’m fucking your mom” as Really Shocking Fake Admissions To Get Clary’s Attention is just… creepy and wrong on so many levels.
  * Clary can see Jace and Alec following Izzy and Demon Boy into the storage area but Simon can’t. And now she’s dragging Simon over there to Get Help. That’s totally going to end well. (Oh, wait. I’m still not supposed to know Jace and Alec and Izzy’s names yet, am I?)
  * Oh, fun. Bad flirting between Izzy and Demon Boy.
  * And Izzy’s got her bracelet-that’s-not-a-bracelet.
  * Really, Izzy? You had a two-second setup for being the badass who doesn’t need no man that you’re supposed to be written to be, then you decide to hand the fight over to Jace and Alec? _Really?!_
  * Yeah, when they say “storage room,” they actually mean “warehouse-looking back room.”
  * Clary… Clary’s so dumb. Instead of thinking “Kids with knives! Danger! Bad! Don’t follow!” she gets curious and follows. Not to mention the fact that she’s going into a clearly marked Employees Only area, and she can read the sign well enough.
  * The storage room was too cold for mid-August, and it wasn’t the air conditioning. Clary, just… just stop being dumb.
  * “There’s nobody there… No wait, there they are.” Worst game of hide-and-seek ever.
  * Clary’s over here thinking everyone else in the room is crazy for talking about demons. Girl, you’re crazy for following them in there. ~~And I must be crazy for reading this.~~
  * “Do you think I talk too much?” Yes, Jace. Yes, I do. Also, you’re an asshole.
  * “Valentine’s not dead.” “Yes he is.” “No he isn’t.” Y’all are acting like five-year-olds.
  * “No! Don’t kill him!” *facepalm* Clary. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
  * “I’m not blind, you know.” I wouldn’t say you’re blind, but you’re definitely too stupid to pay attention to what you see. Or read. Like the “Do Not Enter” sign.
  * All of y’all are dumb. Everyone in this whole damn storage room is dumb.
  * Jace is an asshole and Clary is dumb. Can I officially state for the record that I’m going to be saying this _a lot_ throughout this series?
  * Simon showed up to… not save the day. Because apparently Simon still can’t see Jace and Izzy and Alec.
  * “Yeah, they’re not gonna let us back in that club because they think we’re nuts.” “Why do you care? You hate when I drag you there.” See, I can write this better than the actual book.
  * Oh, fun. Ending the chapter with the old stereotype of “We’re best friends who tell each other everything, right?” followed with the blatant lie of “Yeah, sure.”




	2. Secrets and Lies

  * I mean, I totally get the whole “artist staring at their own art for so long they find 654654165465 things wrong with it” thing, but honestly, if making Clary an Aspiring Artist™ as one of the things that contributes to her being a total Mary Sue, adding this bit of realism to the artist thing isn’t helping.
  * Simon’s over here calling Clary, pretending to be one of the Shadowhunters she’s currently terrified of. Yeah, what a great BFF. (Also, I do understand he wasn’t actually there during the confrontation, not that he’d be able to see what was going on, but Clary never did tell the Shadowhunters her name, did she?)
  * So, Clary’s mom went out with Luke and hasn’t Officially Grounded Clary for being out late. Bad sign alert.
  * And Simon’s in the Manhattan equivalent of a garage band? I say that because I honestly don’t know how much room for home garages there is in Manhattan, and room for garage bands by extension.
  * “It’s not like I’m inviting you to some orgy in Hoboken.” OK, I’m honestly thinking of doing a tally of “Uh, what the fuck, Simon?” moments in this book now. So far, it’s at two moments so far this chapter.
  * Of course Clary’s mom is the Super Amazing Artist that Clary wants to be. (Y’know what? I should start calling her Jocelyn already since I’ve already read this ages ago but I’m not *technically* supposed to know that yet. Kinda like last chapter with the Shadowhunter kids.)
  * And now we’ve got some lovely backstory about Clary’s dead dad and dead older brother and Jocelyn’s name finally got mentioned.
  * Luke showed up but no Jocelyn because she’s parking the car because that’s totally not convenient enough for Shit To Go Horribly Wrong.
  * Clary’s asking Luke about what she should do about the Totally Hypothetical Situation With The Shadowhunters That Luke Totally Doesn’t Know About.
  * OK, Luke’s got “very blue” eyes. I’m gonna go with Mary Sue… uh, Gary Stu Blue, since they can’t be Fanfiction Green?
  * Yep. Luke’s brushing off the whole thing like “What? I totally don’t know what Shadowhunters are. You’re just… using your Artist Observational Skills you got from your mom. Yeah, that’s it.”
  * Oh, good. Nothing bad happened to Jocelyn. Yet.
  * And she and Clary are both redheads. OK.
  * “Clary wasn’t a super gorgeous clone of her mom like everyone thought. She was just your cute, average, klutzy Mary Sue.”
  * “You’re not grounded, Clary. Also, all these boxes are for… a… vacation? Yeah, we’re totally going on a long-term vacation… only a few weeks before school starts.” “But mahm! I’m gonna miss all these parties with my friends and the uber-fancy art classes I paid for! Luke! Please back me up in acting like a bratty five-year-old instead of someone who’s almost sixteen!” “LOL, no.” “Fine. I’mma stay here on my own.”
  * What’s this totally not suspicious foreshadowing about going to Bane to Cover Shit Up Again and Clary not being Jonathan and letting Clary grow up?
  * And now Luke’s bailing, and Simon just so happens to conveniently show up so that he can help Clary be a bratty five-year-old who runs away when she doesn’t get what she wants. Um, I mean, take her to Eric’s poetry reading at Java Jones.
  * Ah, yes, Madame Dorothea, the local psychic downstairs. Oh, CCH Pounder, why did you get wrapped up in the shitty movie based on this shitty book and play her? (Also, as far as “local psychics downstairs” go, I like Madame Tracy better.)
  * Weird dude with cat’s eyes leaving Madame Dorothea’s who looks vaguely familiar to Clary? Yeah, that’s not suspiciously foreshadowing. ~~OK, this is totally a spoiler for later in the book, but is it bad that when I first read this like a decade ago, for the longest time, I thought Magnus Bane was actually his cat and there was some Salem from _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_ thing going on? In hindsight, that’s probably a cooler idea than what Cassandra Clare could’ve done.~~
  * So, Simon dragged Clary to some Mexican restaurant because she pretended her shock at seeing Magnus was actually because she forgot to eat all day and was starving. And Clary’s still being a brat about having to leave for the rest of the summer, and Simon’s trying to knock sense into her. And now Clary’s all of a sudden pissed that she knows jack shit about her mom’s Mysterious Past™.
  * Simon thinks maybe Jocelyn doesn’t want to talk about her past because she’s an abuse victim, and apparently Jocelyn has faint scars ~~that totally aren’t from being a Shadowhunter.~~ I’m glad that Simon didn’t make a crass self-harm joke about the scars, but I’m only a chapter and a half in, and that honestly already seems like a shitty move he’d make.
  * Jocelyn’s calling to try and patch things up with Clary, and Clary’s just letting her mom go to voicemail and is gonna call back later after the poetry reading. Because she’s being a bratty five-year-old. And because all the horribly obvious signs that something bad happening earlier will actually amount to something now that _Clary’s_ gone.
  * And apparently Eric’s your average bad stereotype nerdy gamer with sketchy tastes in girls.
  * Simon’s only in the band because he thinks girls think being in a band is hot. Because that’s totally not a weird, sexist stereotype.
  * So, Jocelyn’s still trying to blow up Clary’s phone, and the Bad Thing Still Hasn’t Happened Yet Because Of Course Not.




	3. Shadowhunters

  * ~~Why am I doing this when I’ve already got a headache?~~
  * So, Clary and Simon are late to the poetry reading, and Clary’s already predicting disaster. I’m not saying she’s _completely_ wrong, but she’s wrong about when and why it’s about to be a disaster.
  * And Simon’s going to order coffee for the pair, and Clary’s order is “Just coffee. Black– _like my soul_.” What the actual fuck? Way to fail at being edgy and just end up sounding beyond stupid.
  * Some random girl at the poetry reading asked Clary if Simon has a girlfriend, and when Clary said no, she asked if Simon was gay. Yeah, I’m probably gonna be saying “what the actual fuck” a lot in this series, aren’t I? All plagiarism scandals aside with this series (which is bad enough), I’ve lately been realizing how cringey Cassandra Clare books are in actual wording and trying to sound cool and original. If that makes sense.
  * Oh, shit. And Simon shows back up and starts asking about what just happened, and Clary’s about having one of those “how long has my best friend been ~~almost~~ hot” moments.
  * So, now they’re Actually Focusing on Eric’s Poetry now, and even Simon’s cringing at it. This is fun.
  * Oh, shit. Here it comes. Simon’s trying to confess his feelings about Clary, isn’t he. This is gonna be awkward, isn’t it?
  * *facepalm* Simon’s over here like “if he was gay, he’d dress better.” Um… for real? Is that an actual thing he said? What the fuck?
  * And of course Jace just so happens to be sitting behind Clary and Simon at this poetry reading because of course he is. And Simon can’t see him still. And of course Clary goes after Jace when he up and leaves.
  * Have I mentioned that Jace is a douche? Also, I don’t get what anyone sees in him, both in the books and in the fandom.
  * Ah, yes. Mundanes are Totally Not The Same as Muggles. Got it.
  * And of course there’s Something Weird about why Clary can see Shadowhunters even when they’re using their runes and shit to hide from mundanes.
  * “Oh, yeah, my tutor Hodge wants you to come to the Shadowhunter Institute because You Know Too Much. And I’ll kidnap you if I have to.” Because that’s not suspicious (and creepy) at all.
  * And this is what I meant by “this is totally going to be a disaster” (for the past chapter and a half at least). Clary’s mom just called and told her not to come home because it’s been broken into and she’s being attacked.
  * And _now_ Jace wants to help as soon as something’s wrong and Clary wants to go home and see what the fuck is up.



**Author's Note:**

> See also https://mmcgui12sbookblog.home.blog/


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